Politics Pt.1 {Material from upcoming Stand-up "Comedic Revival" 2011}

I'm as lost as the next person when it comes to politics. I want to believe in what's right and follow the constitution. At the same time I don't like yelling. I also don't like taking pictures of inappropriate things, lying, telling others how to live and Newt Gingrich. Lots of debates come up that cause a stir I just wished more of them revolved around food. Talking about taxes is usually a good way to get spit on or get you called an idiot. Taxes are a very funny thing. Do I see them as necessary? Whatever, not much I can do about it. But I'm of the opinion that if you're going to tax me at a certain rate then everyone else should be taxed at the same rate. What a novel idea...tax breaks for no one! Honestly Why should my hard earned McDonald's money be worth more than the gas I spend it on? Oversimplifying? Maybe, but it is Food for thought.

This isn't just about taxes and tweets from the congressional locker room (which I find cool that they have a locker room to prove they are idiot guys like the rest of us). This is about a volatile time for politics in our country's history. This is about not being able to say "it's a beautiful day outside" without worrying about someone turning it into a discussion about the Federalist Papers. My brain can't take another Alexander Hamilton reference, although I hear he wore cool shirts. We should make politics more fun! Seriously I have two major suggestions. First: Cameras in all the important buildings in Washington. Am I the only one that finds it strange a fry cook at McDonald's (food theme) has more surveillance than the politicians making decisions about our country's future? Let's make it happen, guys Big Brother DC! (working on that copyright suckers!) Second: People are out on the streets protesting about everything but politicians take aim with the passive-aggressiveness of Piglet. Lets make it interesting by mixing in Wipe-Out/Survivor style situations. Lock these guys in a room, turn the thermostat to 90 and see who cracks first. Make two congressman run the gauntlet, whoever wins gets their proposal passed. I can totally see Harry Reid and John McCain both eating it on the "Big Balls." Yep, gonna let that one hang out there.

Views on issues, what are my views on the issues? I usually try and keep my opinion to myself. I do have opinions, you want to hear them in a hopefully well delivered way? I knew you would. Here goes: Technology is cool, I think cars should go farther and I'm not talking about miles per gallon. I should be flying by now and traffic should be a thing of the past. If the Jetson family could do it so can we. I believe in gay rights, I believe Al Gore has a compelling argument for why the sky is yellow, I don't like the idea of abortion but I also don't like the idea of telling someone else what to do. I believe more time should be spent on immigration than the BCS system and, going back to that former point, immigration shouldn't get to a point where states have to get involved. I'm a right handed democrat with a common-sense agenda who above all else believes in this:

Truth, justice, comedy and minding my own business.

GREAT song. Find out more about him here: http://www.junip.net/